A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
The more I know about men the more I like dogs. - Gloria Allred
Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends. - Alexander Pope
Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. - Max Eastman
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs. - Charles De Gaulle
Like dogs in a wheel, birds in a cage, or squirrels in a chain, ambitious men still climb and climb, with great labor, and incessant anxiety, but never reach the top. - Robert Burton
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. - James Grover Thurber
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs. - John Osborne
If you are a host to your guest, be a host to his dog also. - Assyrian Proverb
A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost--he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over. - Josh Billings
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog. - Jack London
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold J. Toynbee
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh There's so little hope for advancement. - Charles M. Schulz
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. - August Strindberg
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. - Doug Larson
We know that this mad dog of the Middle East has a goal of a world revolution. (On Muammar Qaddafi of Libya) - Ronald Reagan
You can kidnap me and force me to be your watchdog if you want to. But I'm telling you, I will bark at any sound I hear and it will drive you crazy. - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done right. - Walt Disney
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. - Fran Lebowitz
Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children. - William Penn
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred North Whitehead
A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedence, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. - Robert Charles Benchley
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up. - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas. - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs. - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you're RIGHT I NEVER would've thought of that' - Dave Barry
Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war. - William Shakespeare
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. - Archie Griffin
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost 7.00 in dog money. - Joe Weinstein
Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet. - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man. But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal. - Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him. - Chinese Proverb
The dog that fetches will also carry. (Translation If someone reveals another's secrets to you, the same person will reveal your secrets to the world.) - Latin Proverb
The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. - Jeanne-Marie Roland
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Sir Winston Churchill
The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun. - Indian Proverb
If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, 'Forgive me, but that's just too much.' - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread. - Portuguese Proverb
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news. - Charles A. Dana
The artist should be a seeing-eye dog for a myopic civilization. - Jacob Getlar Smith
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Dwight D Eisenhower
The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his. - James Grover Thurber
Politicians are interested in people. Not that it is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. - P. J. O'Rourke
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas. - Italian Proverb
If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is no barking dog to be tethered on a 1-foot chain. - Theodor Wiesengrund Adorno
In Washington, it's dog eat dog. In academia, it's exactly the opposite. - Robert Reich
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
If dogs could talk, perhaps we'd find it just as hard to get along with them as we do with people. - Diana Black
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it - Eleanor H. Porter
The factory of the future will have two employees a man and a dog. The man's job will be to feed the dog. The dog's job will be to prevent the man from touching any of the automated equipment. - Warren Bennis
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
People just naturally assume that dogs would be incapable of working together on some sort of construction project. But what about just a big field full of holes - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog. - Peter Steiner
I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat so much. - Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog fewer when pursued by a mad woman only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. - Robertson Davies
It is entirely seemly for a young man killed in battle to lie mangled by the bronze spear. In his death all things appear fair. But when dogs shame the gray head and gray chin and nakedness of an old man killed, it is the most piteous thing that happens among wretched mortals. - Homer
I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway. - Josh Billings
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
But I have always liked bird dogs better than kennel-fed dogs myself--you know, one that will get out and hunt for food rather than sit on his fanny and yell. - Charles E. Wilson
